


I'll Still Be Here Tomorrow

by Castiell



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Gay, angsty gay, body control, boyf riends — Freeform, emotion, gay angst, how do I tag things, please read i crave validation, the squip can take over jeremy's body, what do i tag these, yeah that escalates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-09 12:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11104566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castiell/pseuds/Castiell
Summary: Only when he was seated at the cool kids table, having an actual conversation with Brooke-the second prettiest girl in school-did Jeremy feel control return again to his body.He tried not to let the Squip know how much that had freaked him out, but Jeremy had a feeling it already knew.At a break in conversation, he directed his thoughts to the computer inside his brain."Hey...I would prefer if you didn’t do that thing again-especially without warning.""What thing are you referring to?" The Squip asked, feigning ignorance."That-that whole body control thing. It was weird and I didn’t like it."He could almost feel the Squip’s disapproval, but still it said, "Very well. I won’t do it.""Thanks-"Jeremy started but was cut off."Unless the situation calls for it."Jeremy didn’t know how to reply but the Squip continued anyway."Follow my instructions, and the situation will never call for it."





	1. April 1st-April 18th

**Author's Note:**

> I literally just noticed this but "I'll still be Here/Heere tomorrow" HA, Such fun, such pun  
> Enjoy

April 1st was the day on which the undoubtedly worst month of Jeremy Heere’s life began-And the fact that it started on April Fool’s Day only served to make Jeremy more aware of the cruel irony. If only it could have been passed off a joke.

The day before had started it all. That was the day Jeremy and his best friend, Michael Mell, forked over $400 ($402 if you count the Mountain Dew they immediately brought afterwards) in the back of a Payless shoe store for a gray, oblong pill. For a Squip.

Michael and Jeremy had lamented together over the waste of money when there were no obvious effects. Disappointed, they had gone back to Michael’s house to waste the rest of the day playing video games; the incident was seemingly forgotten by both. 

Yet as Jeremy sat in bed that night, eyes unwilling to close, he couldn’t help but think of just what he would give to be popular. To be cool.

 

**April 1st**

 

The Squip appeared the next day. He told Jeremy how to walk, what to wear, how to talk, and how to behave. He told him that the ultimate goal was to make Jeremy more chill, and together they set out to accomplish just that.

It was strange. Things changed almost instantaneously. When Rich began to accept him, after he had learned that Jeremy acquired a Squip as well, other popular kids began to treat him differently too.   
By lunchtime, he had added seven new numbers to his phone and was even invited to sit at one of the popular kids’ tables.

In the lunch line, he ecstatically told Michael about all of it, (much to the chagrin of the Squip) but he didn’t respond the way Jeremy wanted him to. Instead, he seemed...disgruntled.

“So you’re sitting with them today?”

“Well yeah,” Jeremy replied. “I just said that didn’t I? I would be crazy to refuse that offer.”

Michael shifted his backpack from one shoulder to the other. “I mean, I guess. I just-I assumed we were going to sit together. You know, like we do every day.” 

The smile on Jeremy’s face faltered. “Oh yeah well...Hey! Why don’t you-” And then something strange happened.

Just as Jeremy had been about to offer that Michael sit with him at the popular table, the words cut off. It was as if something was blocking them from coming out.

Turns out something was.

_I’m sorry, Jeremy, but trust me when I say it is in your best interests that you do not offer Michael a seat at the table._

_Why not?_

Jeremy was able to think-talk to the Squip, but to Michael it still sounded like his friend was making a faint choking sound. Concerned, he put a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder and tried to catch his gaze.

“Jer? Are you okay? What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

_Because you barely have a seat there yourself. It’s only been a day and look how much your dismal life has improved. I can’t let you throw our progress away so quickly._

Without any control over what was happening, Jeremy felt himself quickly shrug off Michael’s hand. A hurt expression flashed across Michael’s face that in turn made Jeremy upset, but he didn’t- _couldn’t_ -comment on it.

“Maybe we can sit together tomorrow.” Jeremy heard himself say, his tone disinterested and disingenuous. Without another word, the Squip made him grab his lunch tray and head to the crowded table in the middle of the cafeteria, ignoring the quiet way Michael said, “Okay then. I’ll still be here tomorrow.”

He couldn’t even turn his head around.

 

Only when he was seated at the cool kids table, having an actual conversation with Brooke-the second prettiest girl in school!-did Jeremy feel control return again to his body.

He tried not to let the Squip know how much that had freaked him out, but Jeremy had a feeling it was already aware.

At a break in the conversation, he directed his thoughts to the computer inside his brain.

_Hey...I would prefer if you didn’t do that thing again-especially without warning._

_What thing are you referring to?_ The Squip asked, feigning ignorance.

 _That-that whole body control thing. It was weird and I didn’t like it._  

He could almost feel the Squip’s disapproval, but still it replied, _Very well. I won’t do it._  

 _Thanks-_ Jeremy started but was cut off.

 _Unless the situation calls for it._  

Jeremy didn’t know how to reply but the Squip continued anyway. 

_Follow my instructions, and the situation will never call for it._

 

**April 2nd**

 

For the first time in a long while, Jeremy was looking forward to going to school. Thanks to the Squip, the cool kids were actually _nice._ To him at least. They _liked_ him. And once the cool kids liked something, or someone, the rest of the school would soon follow. That entire day, Jeremy’s mind was a flurry of smiles and high fives. It was as if the Squip made all his school problems disappear.

And then lunch came.

“You’re sitting with us again, aren’t you Jeremy?” Brooke had asked him with a sweet smile. Happiness flooded Jeremy in waves as finally _,finally_ he was being accepted.

Yet something felt...off.

Was he forgetting something? A strange feeling grasped hold of his stomach, and he couldn’t shake it away.

“Uh-Yeah I think I am, Brooke.” He responded after a beat. She noffed happily in response and motioned him towards her but before he could start walking Jeremy felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, the feeling in his stomach intensified upon loolong into the upset eyes of Michael.

“So when you said we would sit together tomorrow, you were lying?” He asked. 

Jeremy froze, waiting to see if the Squip would take control. Nothing seemed to be happening, but then he heard the voice say, _Take care of this or I’ll do it for you. And try to make it quick, Brooke is waiting._

“I wasn’t lying, I just-uh, I didn’t see you all day.”

Michael’s eyes narrowed. “Is that my fault? You seemed pretty busy hanging out with your new friends.”

All of a sudden, his expression changed to one of surprise, even understanding, like the sun breaking through on a cloudy day.  “Wait wait wait. Siting with Brooke? Two days in a row?” The excited realization in his voice animated the questions.

“Did the pill thing work? Is it talking to you now?”

 _Don’t tell him._ Was the Squip’s sharp response. 

_What? Why not?_

_Just trust me. It is imperative he doesn’t know._

Jeremy had never kept a secret from Michael before, but if it was really that important...

“Uh no, no. It didn’t work.”

Confusion flitted across Michael’s face.

“Really? Then how did you...you know.” He motioned vaguely to the popular kid’s table, where Brooke had taken her seat. 

_It would seem that Michael doesn’t think you’re qualified enough to be popular._

_That’s not what he’s saying!_ Jeremy tried to protest.

_Then why don’t you ask him?_

“What is that supposed to mean?” Inwardly, Jeremy cringed at how harsh and defensive his voice sounded. He hadn’t meant for it to come out like that. “Do you not think I can fit in?”

“I mean, you never did before!” Jeremy’s face hardened but Michael didn’t stop. “Seriously Jer, okay, two days ago you were getting called a loser and being shoved into lockers. And that’s been happening since middle school. So something had to have changed.”

_I told you._

“I did. I changed.” Jeremy snapped. “You were right, I was lying.” Quickly he grabbed his lunch tray and turned his back, walking towards Brooke. “I’m going to sit with my _new_ friends today.”

 

**April 3rd**

 

Jeremy didn’t see Michael all day. Not even in the lunch line. 

Against the Squip’s wishes, he wanted to apologize for what he had said yesterday. Jeremy had no idea what possessed him to act that way but he regretted it.  Everywhere he looked however, Michael couldn’t be found.

So he continued to sit at the popular table durging lunch.

 

**April 6th**

 

Sometimes Jeremy would catch glimpses of Michael; in the hall, briskly walking out of class. Every time he ran after him however, it was like he had never been there in the first place.

It felt like Jeremy was chasing a ghost.

 

**April 10th**

 

On April 10th, Jeremy wished Michael had never appeared to him again.

He was walking down the hallway with one of the more popular kids, a student named Kevin. Jeremy didn’t really like this boy, he was one of the worst bullies, particularly to the weaker kids and that didn’t exactly sit well with him.  

For once he wasn’t the target though. 

They were talking about something Jeremy had no interest in, luckily the Squip was actively feeding him information to appeal to the other student.

Then someone ran into Jeremy.

 Papers flew everywhere and the impact itself almost knocked Jeremy off his feet-the person had to have been moving pretty fast. Slightly dazed, it took a minute for his vision to focus on who ran into him.

It was Michael, also looking stunned, but more or less the same as he had always been to Jeremy. Except now Jeremy saw some dark circles under his eyes. And he noticed that the boy seemed smaller, and more hunched, like he was trying to disappear.

He didn’t even have a chance to ask Michael if he was okay before the Kevin, who had been right next to him during the collision, was getting all into Michael’s face, asking him if he was a fucking klutz.

“I hope you’re planning on apologizing to my buddy.”

 _I’m not your buddy._ Jeremy wanted to snap, just as much as he wanted to rush to Michael and help him pick up the scattered papers. A familiar feeling overtook him before he could.

Within seconds he couldn’t move any part of his body; the words died in his throat.

“It was an accident.” Michael said defensively, while also beginning to look like a deer in the headlights. “He should have watched where he was going too.”

Kevin looked back to Jeremy. “Are we gonna let him talk to you like that?”

_Squip. Give me back my body. Now._

_I’m afraid I can’t do that, Jeremy. We’ve made some tremendous strides and this will only help you._

_What will only help me?_

As an answer, Jeremy’s body moved off it’s own accord. With strength he knew he didn’t possess, Jeremy grabbed Michael by the front of his collar and slammed him against the nearest locker. Conversations nearby paused as multiple people froze to look at them.

“No, we are not.” The Squip replied as Jeremy. “Say you’re sorry, faggot.” Jeremy’s body demanded as he stared into the eyes of Michael, struggling uselessly against the iron control Squip had over his body.

Jeremy tried to convey his helplessness to Michael with his eyes, pleading for assistance but as far as the Squip was concerned, the only message that came across was aggression and hostility. It broke Jeremy inside as he was forced to witness Michael look at him with blatant fear. “Fine, fine, I’m sorry! Jesus Christ.” He exclaimed, trying to hide the shakiness of his voice.

In an instant, the Squip dropped him and was brushing off Jeremy’s new, fashionable clothes. Whispers immediately emerged from those watching. Besides him, Kevin was looking on approvingly. “Nice way to take care of that.”

Without another look towards Michael, who was scurrying to pick up all the papers, the two moved onward through the hall. Inside Jeremy felt defeated. He would never forget the expression on Michael’s face. 

  
“So I’m having a small get together this Saturday.” Kevin picked up the conversation as if nothing happened. “It’s not going to be a big blow out or anything, but Brooke and Chloe are coming-among others.” He had a small smirk on his face that Jeremy could feel himself unwillingly copying. “You in?”

Jeremy felt like he was shrinking inside his own body. The Squip responded for him, affirmative obviously, but Jeremy knew as soon as the Squip gave him control back, he would find Michael. He would apologize and-

_You forget that I already know what you’re thinking, Jeremy. Of course you’re going to get your body back, but as soon as you even think of ruining this, I’m taking control. Understand?_

Jeremy didn’t respond. There was no answer for that. It wasn’t as if he had a choice in the matter anyway. He felt exhausted. Giving up never seemed so desirable.

So he did. He let the Squip direct him through the rest of the day, not paying attention to anything that occurred.

And this happened the next day. And the next.

 

**April 12th**

 

Michael knew something was up. _Something_ was wrong with Jeremy, something was fundamentally different, and he’d be damned if he didn’t figure out what.

He spent half of the school day thinking about it, getting in trouble with two different teachers for “daydreaming” in class.

Detention wasn’t important at the moment. All he could think about was helping his friend.

Eventually, he figured something out. Jeremy just needed a reminder of what they meant to each other.

But how could he get that across?

An unlikely opportunity presented itself near the end of the day.

Michael was running through the empty hallways, late for class, when he saw Jeremy, slowly walking along, as if he had no purpose.

"Jeremy?” Michael called out. The boy completely ignored him, but Michael pushed the hurt aside. There was a job to do. He ran up in front of his best friend, forcing him to come to a complete stop.

Jeremy’s eyes looked dazed and unfocused, until they settled on Michael.

For a second they cleared, like Jeremy had seen the light. “Michael?” He asked in wonderment, and his tone contrasted so greatly with the cruel one he had used previously that a strange light feeling settled in Michael’s stomach.

Michael tried to clear his head. He knew what he had to do.

With all the fierceness of an attack, Michael tightly hugged Jeremy. He used all of his strength, trying to convey everything he couldn’t seem to say in that hug.

“I’m here, Jeremy.” He managed to choke out. Michael felt Jeremy’s arm raise and he was sure that the embrace was going to be reciprocated, that whatever he was going through they would deal with it together, just like they always had. 

Then his stronger than normal hands were grasping Michael’s shoulders. A second later he was sprawled across the floor, his head slamming into the cold tile floor.

“I don’t _need_ you here, Mikey.” Jeremy was saying, a snarl in his voice. “Don’t talk to me again. I don’t even want to see you.”

Then Jeremy walked by him, as if he were nothing more than a piece of trash on the school floor.

Michael had been wrong, so terribly, terribly wrong. This was just how it was now. This was Jeremy now.

 

**April 18th**

 

Sometimes the Squip would purposely seek out Michael to torment him. Whenever that happened, Jeremy stirred awake from the restless feeling of not being in control of your own body.  Every time he would try to regain power. It seemed to be a futile effort and the Squip would chuckle at him for trying.  

Except for one time.

 

Jeremy’s body had cornered Michael in a mostly empty hallway.

The Squip had never hit Michael. Jeremy had told him once that if he ever dared to do that, he would find a way to kill him. It was hard to sound fierce when you didn't even have command over your own limbs, and the Squip had only laughed at him. Yet so far he had never blatantly struck Michael.

This time was different. Barely anybody else was around and Michael, while obviously scared, had made a sarcastic comment mocking Jeremy. Quick as a flash, the Squip slammed Michael in the side of the head.

Jeremy had been fighting for control once more. When he saw that happen to Michael, his former best friend, something inside him snapped. As the Squip grabbed Michael and pulled him back to his feet, slowly pressed him against a locker and leaned in to whisper something malicious in his ear, Jeremy viciously overcame the Squip. 

For a short moment, he could feel himself back in his own body, leaning over Michael’s, lips centimeters away from his ear.

In a tightly strained, panicked voice, Jeremy whispered. “ _Please help me._ ”

Michael started in surprise and Jeremy stumbled backwards, he could feel the Squip trying to wrest back control.

Right before he lost it, Jeremy forced all the worry, exhaustion, pain, regret-every single emotion that was currently flooding him-to show in his eyes, which were staring directly into Michael’s.

He was sure the message got across.

And then the computer was calling the shots again. Jeremy’s mouth let out a snarl and moved forward to grab Michael.

_Don’t touch him._

_You were stronger than I anticipated, Jeremy, and yet my control has already been updated and re-established._

_I won’t fight you._

The Squip stopped in his tracks, only a couple of feet away from Michael.

_What was that?_

_Leave Michael alone from now on. You know as well as I do that I don’t need to be any more popular than I currently am. Leave him alone and I’ll fully comply with whatever you want._

Michael looked at Jeremy, standing completely still in front of him, softly muttering as if he were having a conversation with himself.

The Squip mused about it for a minute. _No opposition would be ideal. Fine, Jeremy. I won’t touch_ _your boyfriend._

_He’s not my-_

_And in return, you will follow my instructions to the tee. Starting with you going to that get together this weekend._

Jeremy felt like sobbing in relief. At least Michael would be safe.

_Can I-Can I say goodbye to Michael?_

_..._

_Make it quick._

 

And then Jeremy once again had command over his body, It was useless to try and tell Michael what was going on. The Squip would shut that down instantly, and then he might break their agreement.

No, they both knew Jeremy didn’t have any options.

Back in his own body, he could feel his posture slipping, shoulders hunching, exhaustion filtering into his face.

“Michael, I-I-“ His voice failed him. “Goodbye. And I’m sorry.”

 

Michael couldn’t have been more conflicted or confused, but he walked forward hesitantly and gently grasped Jeremy’s shoulders.

“What’s happening, Jer? What’s wrong?”

It felt so good to have Michael talking to him in that kind tone once more, but Jeremy knew he couldn’t answer that. So instead he pulled him in for a hug, squeezing him tight and inhaling his scent so that he could never possibly forget it.

Jeremy pulled away first, unable to stand it any longer. As soon as he did that he felt the control slipping away. He stood up straighter, took a step back, and waited as the Squip took charge once more. A small smirk formed on his lips, so unlike how Jeremy had been only a couple seconds ago.

“See you around, Mikey.” He turned around swiftly on his heels and began walking down the school halls, not bothering to look back. 


	2. April 19th-April 28th

**April 19th**

 

The Squip had been giving Jeremy control of his body back in small doses. Walking to his locker, talking with Rich or Jake or any other one student.

The night of the “small get together”, Jeremy questioned it. The Squip was telling him what clothes to pick out, but at least he was letting him move by himself.

_Why are you letting me have control of my body? Won’t it be easier if you just live my life?_

Jeremy had been thinking things like that recently. Afterall, his friendship with Michael was over, his dad still wasn’t wearing pants...Nothing made him truly, genuinely happy anymore. Not even his new friends.

If Squip was so inclined to make him live his best life, why didn’t he do just that?

_That’s not my purpose, Jeremy._

_You could have fooled me._

_If you weren’t so intent on ruining your own popularity I wouldn’t have to do this in the first place. Remember what I said? When the situation calls for it. You will live your own life, but thanks to me, it will be your best life._

That didn’t make sense to Jeremy. He was as far away from happy as he could possibly get. He hadn’t felt this beaten down, this utterly and completely lonely, since his mom had left his dad and him. The only one that got him through that dark period was Michael, and now he didn’t even have him by his side.

 So what was the point?

 

 _And if you must know,_ the Squip continued as Jeremy pulled on a tight pair of black skinny jeans, _You’ll be needing to have the experience tonight._

 _I’ve had plenty of experience before you came along, actually._ Jeremy pointed out, receiving a small electric shock because of it.

_None of that. Now you’re going to have a good time and if we play your cards right, you might even get lucky with Brooke._

The thought made him sick.

_Now let’s get going. If you leave immediately you’ll be fashionably late._

 

Kevin hadn’t been under-exaggerating. It was the exact definition of a small get-together. Jeremy saw familiar faces like Rich, Jake, Brooke, Chloe, and Jenna. It was nice to have them here but they weren’t who he wanted to see.

The fact of the matter was Jeremy didn’t want to be there.

Nevertheless, he played his part,  listening to Kevin’s douchey stories and jowning in on the different drinking games they were playing.

Before long, he was giggly with alcohol. Four jello shots, three vodka shots, two beers, and a red solo cup of coconut rum mixed with pineapple juice would happily do that to you.

They were playing spin the bottle when Jeremy realized he hadn’t heard the Squip’s voice in a long time.

 _Hey,_ Jeremy said in a whisper, unsure of whether or not he was actually saying it outloud. _Where’d you go,_ _you piece of shit?_

 _My s@ystem cannot kufanya_ _正确的_ _buaidh influences. I_ _ဖွစျလိမျ့မညျ absent for sOme ~time._

 _Sounds good to me._ Jeremy thought as he downed another shot of gold strike.

 

Soon they were playing spin the bottle and was it a coincidence that he ended up having to kiss Brooke? Jeremy felt that even when the Squip wasn’t active, it still somehow had an influence over everything.

He wasn’t the only one drunk. “Come on let’s do this.” Brooke said, her words slurring together. “Putcha lips on mine and press ‘em like this.” She demonstrated with her hands, folding them into each other tightly.

Jeremy didn’t know how to refuse without offending Brooke. Yet every time he tried to imagine it, thinking it would help him go through with it, a slow, sick feeling invaded his stomach.

Everyone was staring at them expectantly. After a while of both of them just looking blearily at each other, Kevin impatiently said, “Hurry up, get it over with. Or if you prefer Brooke, you can always kiss me.” While sending a sloppy wink her way. Brooke pretended to gag and for a short moment the attention was off of Jeremy, but he knew it would return soon enough. It always did. 

Suddenly, he couldn't take it anymore. Ungracefully standing up, all eyes were drawn towards him as he stumbled towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Chloe asked.

“I got a...thing." Jeremy replied. "I got a thing to do go. To go do. My thing. I’ll see you guys at school.”

Outside it was slightly chilly and Jeremy resented not bringing one of his hoodies. The Squip had told him it would ruin the outfit. But now...the Squip was gone. He could do whatever he wanted, completely of his own free will. Even in his drunken state, Jeremy knew what needed to be done.

It was a good thing Michael happened to live so close to Kevin’s house.

 

He almost got hit by a car, walking in the middle of the deserted road in dark clothing. He deemed the ordeal worth it however when he ended up on the doorstep of the Mell’s residence.

The thought that maybe Michael’s parents might be home instead of out of town occurred to him only after he had pounded loudly on the door.

“Who’s there?” Michael shouted from the other side of the door after what seemed a _very_ long while, but in reality only being a couple of minutes.

Jeremy let out a heavy sigh of relief.

“It’s me-” Before he could finish, he hiccuped twice, and then waited a moment to make sure it was fully over. “It’s me.” He repeated, “Jeremy. Your best friend.” 

No response came from the other side of the door. “Michael? Pl-Please let me in. It’s cold and I don’t have a jacket.”

Slowly, the door opened, but only a little bit. Only enough to let Michael poke his head out. “You’re not coming inside. Not until you exp-” His words were stopped short by the sight of Jeremy.

“You’re...Jeremy, you’re crying.”

“What?” Slowly Jeremy raised a hand to his cheek and stared at it incredulously as water glistened back on the tip of his fingers. “I guess I am.” He looked back at Michael. The Squip was still gone, and yet he couldn’t get any words out.

Maybe Michael could interpret the defeated look on Jeremy’s face because he opened the door all the way, took Jeremy by the hand and led him inside.

 

“You smell like a nearly empty bar on the side of a highway that’s like thirty-three years old and barely gets any visitors.” Michael pointed out, sitting Jeremy down on a kitchen chair.

“That was oddly specific.” Jeremy said, much happier now that he was actually inside.

Quickly, Michael made his friend a steaming mug of tea and together they headed downstairs. Resolutely, he planted Jeremy firmly on the couch, gave him the cup, and wrapped him in a fluffy gray blanket.

He sat cautiously on the opposite side of the couch, waiting until Jeremy began to drink the tea.

“Now you have to tell me what’s been happening. All of it.”

And so drunkenly Jeremy tried to explain. It was hard to get the story straight, and he provided a large number of unnecessary sound effects while including how the Squip seemed to momentarily shut down thanks to alcohol.

“Then the Squip came and was like PSHWKA and he told me how to do _everything.”_

Michael looked away from the blanket-wrapped Jeremy, as if the sight were painful.

“And so because he told you to, you-you acted like the people who we’ve been trying to survive for the past five years. I’m sorry, Jeremy, but that’s not a good enough excuse.”

Jeremy stared at Michael in wonder. “Michael...I would never do that. He-he would-” It was hard for Jeremy to even talk about. The more the tea cleared his head, the more terrified he was that the Squip would come back. He’d have to hurry up.

He cleared his throat and continued.

“He would take control of my body and force me to-to hurt you.” Jeremy looked down, unable to stare at the boy he had bullied while feeling such anguish.

“When I asked you to help me I was able to take control but it didn’t last.”

“What about when you hugged me?”

“I asked him if I could say goodbye and I-I made him promise that if he stopped hurting you I would stop fighting him.” 

Jeremy could feel himself overheating underneath the thick blanket but still he didn’t move, didn’t look up. Not until he felt Michael’s gentle hand grab the bottom of his chin, forcing him to look into his closest friend’s eyes. Ex-closest friend.

“That was a stupid promise to make.” Michael said once they made eye contact.

It felt like he was burning, and Jeremy couldn’t stand the heat any longer. He jumped off the couch, out of Michael’s reach, whipping the blanket off his shoulders where it fell to the floor.

He stood in front of the other boy defiantly, and only wobbling slightly.

“It was _not_  a stupid promise.” Jeremy stated fiercely. “It was the best thing I’ve done ever since I swallowed this parasite.”

He felt like his throat was closing up. “He-The Squip _hurt_ you and I couldn’t do anything. These hands-” He held up his palms in front of him, staring at them as if they were bloodied. He looked to Michael in horror. “-hit you. _I hurt you.”_

Then it was time for Michael to quickly stand up. He reached for Jeremy’s outstretched hands, grasping them to pull him close.

“That wasn’t you. You didn’t have control over what you were doing.”

Jeremy almost scoffed, disgusted with himself. “I wasn’t strong enough to stop it.”

Michael didn’t respond and Jeremy knew what he had done. He had successfully killed their friendship. This was the end and it was what he deserved.

Yet still, he couldn’t stand the silence. Instead of answering, Michael seemed to be staring in fascination at something on Jeremy’s face.

“What are you looking at?” He asked, while trying to pull away from the comforting way Michael was holding his hands. Jeremy might as well start distancing himself now, at least attempt to make the entire situation as painless as possible.

Michael was having none of it. Instead he gripped Jeremy’s arms tighter, pulling him even closer until their faces were inches apart.

Slowly, Michael raised a hand, and with careful movements, wiped the corner of Jeremy’s eye with his thumb. He held up the hand to Jeremy as if it were evidence. The thumb was glistening wet.

“You were crying again.” He said by explanation.

Being so close, it was almost impossible to look anywhere other than at each other. Jeremy didn’t dare breathe, in case it ruined this almost sacred moment-and then something strange happened.

Michael’s head tilted just the slightest to the left, Jeremy’s to the right. They were moving closer together and he knew what was going to happen, he could almost taste it. The entire moment felt like a dessert he had been waiting ages to devour was just set down in front of him.

He could feel his heart pounding, ready to beat out of his chest. This was actually going to happen-

 

_Calli#ng شخصا ما a parasit3 isn’t very nice, Je^emy._

 

A strangled scream escaped Jeremy as he stumbled backwards and fell to the floor.

“Jeremy!” Michael’s panicked voice barely broke through his mental haze. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

Jeremy couldn’t find the words to answer him.

_Th1s i! For n]t listeN >ng. _

An electric shock, the worst one he had felt yet, ripped through Jeremy’s arm. He let out a pained yell as the Squip took control of that limb.

_T4is is fPr ランニング bacK h6re._

Another electric current, another limb lost to the Squip, which it immediately used to try and stand.

_This isd f-r throwi?g away w=hat I made for you._

The pain of the atrack was almost too much. Jeremy blacked out for half a second as Michael tried to get through to him, begging the boy to tell him what to do.

The Squip’s voice became more powerful and easier to understand with every second. Jeremy knew he would be in control once more soon enough.

 _And this,_ the three lost limbs tried to stand of their own accord but unable to keep balance, Jeremy ended up falling to one knee.

_This is for thinkinG you could ev3r escape me._

The fourth and most painful shock coursed through the final leg. Jeremy didn’t even have the strength to yell, only a moan of agony escaped his lips.

Once more the Squip tried to stand up and this time, while shaky, was successful.

 

Michael stared as the Squip talked through Jeremy.

“ _Since you broke your side of the agreement, I see no reason to uphold mine._ ”

He moved one leg at a time, bearing a resemblance to the zombies in the video games they used to play with each other.

The speed of Jeremy’s fist blew away that of his legs. The contrast was astounding and Jeremy knew that it would smash into the side of Michael’s head and he would crumple to the floor.

He vowed never to witness that sight.

Jeremy’s tightly clenched fist froze inches away from impact. Michael’s eyes slowly opened, having tightly closed upon bracing for the hit.

“Get me alcohol.” Jeremy’s voice was strained. “Any at all. And please,  _hurry_.”

Michael bolted up the stairs, presumably to his parent’s liquor cabinet. Jeremy stood completely still the entire time, hand still raised, in a frozen state of war with the Squip.

_This isn’t going to end well for you, Jeremy._

He gritted his teeth and waited for the pounding steps of Michael running back down the stairs. In one hand he held a bottle of uncorked pinot grigio.

“Does this work? It was already open and there’s like three quarters of the bottle left. Is that enou-”

“Michael.” Jeremy said, cutting him off, “Hand me it.”

He chugged the wine straight from the bottle, ignoring the glass Michael held in his other hand.

Once he had finished drinking almost the rest of it, Jeremy unsteadily placed the wine bottle on the ground, waiting to see if the Squip would respond.

Nothing.

Drunk, exhausted, and physically and emotionally drained was _not_ a good combination.

He stumbled towards Michael who caught him before he could fall flat on the couch.

“I’m so tired, Mikey.” Jeremy mumbled as Michael once more laid him down, also putting the blanket back on.

“Then go to sleep , Jer.”

Tiredly Jeremy motioned for Michael to sit beside him, and shared his blanket once he did. Michael froze up as Jeremy laid his head against his chest.

“Are you okay like this?” Michael asked in a hushed whisper.

“I’m okay like this.” Jeremy softly affirmed. “But it’ll be back tomorrow and-” The second part of that statement was said into Michael’s shoulder where he couldn’t make it out.

“What was that?”

Being on the verge of sleep Jeremy’s voice was bleary and almost incomprehensible. Still Michael somehow heard when he repeated, “It’ll be back tomorrow and I won’t be okay.”

Moving carefully so as not to disturb him, Michael wrapped his long arms around Jeremy’s.

“It’s okay.” He said in a tight whisper. Not that Jeremy could hear him, he continued anyway. “I’ll still be here tomorrow.”

 

**April 20th**

 

Jeremy considered it a miracle he woke up before Michael, especially taking into account his killer hangover coupled with the fact he always slept in on Sundays.

Despite Michael still being fast asleep, Jeremy needlessly blushed at the position he woke up in, practically laying across his lap. The image only brought up worrisome thoughts about what had happened, and what was going to happen...before the Squip interrupted.

That didn’t matter right now, Jeremy told himself. He had to worry about the Squip coming back. Afterall, he couldn’t live his life on a perpetual bender.

Quickly and quietly, he put on his socks and shoes, being very careful not to disturb the soundly sleeping boy on the couch. With a final look from the top of the stairs, he whispered, “Bye Michael,” and made his way home.

His dad was still asleep but Jeremy was sure that he would wake up to an angry parent. After all, he hadn’t called or texted where he had been all night.

Well, he would cross that bridge when he got to it.

For right now…

 

Jeremy laid down on the bed, arms outstretched, savoring the silence and waiting, waiting for it to be broken. He suffered through the pounding headache he had, feeling too lethargic to get up and get some aspirin.

He’d prefer to think of nothing at all, but his brain didn’t work like that. Instead, fragment thoughts floated around incoherently. The common theme seemed to concern Michael or the Squip, neither a surprise to Jeremy.

Sometime later he closed his eyes.

 

**April 21st**

Jeremy woke up covered in a blanket. His dad must have put one on...at least now he was aware Jeremy was home. He still wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.

Groggily he pulled out his phone, ignoring the messages from those  who had been at the party. Instead he checked the time, jumping out of bed with a yell when the clock said 7:30 a.m. Unless he hurried like hell he would be late to school.

Hurrriedly getting changed, Jeremy couldn’t believe he had slept through the entire day. He must have been truly exhausted. 

That morning, there was no voice in his head telling him what to wear or how to style his hair. It felt almost normal, he realized as he put on mismatched socks.

It was a beautiful, sunny day and so he decided to walk. Some part of him wasn’t surprised when an icy feeling overtook his veins and he froze right there on the sidewalk.

 

_Hello Jeremy._

_I hope you’re not giving me the silent treatment._

_Well that’s alright for now. You won’t have to do anything._

 

His posture straightened, his feet no longer looked like they were going to trip over nothing at any second. His fingers ran through his brunette head of hair.

 

_Time to go._

 

“Jeremy! I wasn’t sure if you were coming to school today.” Brooke said as she ran up to him in the hallway, looking concerned. “You didn’t answer any of my texts.”

Jeremy waited a moment but the Squip didn’t respond, so he assumed it was safe to talk.

“Oh sorry. I just wasn’t feeling well, so I went home.”

The worried look disappeared from her features.

“Oh I’m glad that’s all it was. Well not that I want you to be sick. Are you feeling better?”

“I don’t think it’s completely gone away.” She cautiously took a step to the side.

“Probably just a reaction to the alcohol, though.”

“Yeah that makes sense. I felt like I was going to have to get my stomach pumped!” She laughed happily and then waved goodbye. “I’ll see you at lunch, Jeremy.”

He nodded once. Chances were he wouldn’t be sitting with Michael.

_I’m glad you were smart enough to come to that conclusion, at least. You’ll be lucky, or for your situation, unlucky, if you talk to Michael again._

No, that sick feeling definitely wasn’t the alcohol.

 _You can’t keep me from seeing him._ Even Jeremy doubted his own words.

_First off, let’s not be so dramatic, Juliet. Secondly, you and I both know I can. In fact, I can do that quite literally. All I need do is apply my optic nerve blocking and he’ll be gone forever._

_No! Please don’t do that!_

_You’re sounding desperate there, Jeremy._

_I’ll ignore him, you know I will. Just-just let me see him._

_You didn’t quite follow through on our first agreement._ The Squip said, his voice laced thick with blatant victory. _We’ll see._

Jeremy couldn’t help frantically glancing around, but of course he wasn't able to tell whether or not Michael was being blocked, or he just wasn’t there.

 

_It’s no use looking. Carry on._

 

Reluctantly, Jeremy shouldered his backpack and moved on his way.

 

**April 22nd**

 

No Michael.

 

**April 23rd**

 

No Michael.

 

**April 24th**

 

No Michael.

 

**April 25th**

 

Jeremy found himself walking down the hallway next to Kevin again. He still wasn’t likeable, but Jeremy was finding out that, similar to many other aspects of his life right now, he didn’t have a choice in the matter.

“Jeremy!” No, it couldn’t be. He felt his body tense up as he unwillingly continued to walk.

Running footsteps sounded behind him and then suddenly he was being whipped around and was once again, face to face with Michael. Kevin looked back and glared at him.

“What’s this faggot doing?”

“Kevin...” Jeremy managed through gritted teeth. “Shut up.”

He stared in surprise, “What did you just say to me?”

Jeremy decided to ignore him, focusing instead on Michael. He could feel very limited control over his body, but at least there was something.

He forced away the worrying question of just why the Squip was letting him talk, or for that matter even see Michael. Maybe Jeremy was getting stronger.

...Not likely.

 

“Michael.” His voice was tight with worry. “Where have you been?”

Something inside Jeremy bloomed as he noticed that Michael had that excited spark in his eye; he hadn’t seen it in so long.

“I figured it out! I know how to get rid of it. It took me forever and I kind of lost track of time. That’s why I wasn’t in school. Totally worth it though. I can get it out.”

Jeremy’s hand clenched. He took a step back in case the Squip decided to start swinging.

“Hey! I’m talking to you.” Kevin snarled.

“Fuck off Kevin.” Okay, that definitely wasn’t Jeremy. What was the Squip playing at?

“Oh you fucking-” The bell rang, interrupting him mid-sentence. “Watch your back, fag.” He hissed venemously before hurrying towards class.

And so just like that he was back to the victim. Is that what the Squip was doing? It was eerily silent inside his head.

Well, he didn’t care right now, he was free to talk to Michael and that was enough.

“Whatever the cure is,” Jeremy said, pausing every moment or so, expecting the Squip to jump in, “Don’t give it to me here. There are too many people, who knows what it might do.”

“Is he not here right now?”

Jeremy’s brow furrowed. “I'm not sure. He’s not talking or anything but it still doesn’t feel normal. I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s what I’m here for, Jer.” Michael cracked a small grin. “My house after school?” Jeremy felt a painful pang at the familiar question one used to say to the other almost every day.

“Your house.” He confirmed, managing a smile. “Now let’s go. We’re gonna be late for class.”

 

They walked home together, and it was almost like normal. Except Jeremy was tense, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and for the Squip to take control again.

Several times he looked around, sure he had heard footsteps but there was never anything there. Maybe the plan was to make him go crazy.

 

The blow to the head had him falling to the sidewalk, crumpling like paper.

Michael let out a cry of surprise, turning around and instantly stepping back, only narrowly avoiding Kevin swinging a thick geometry book. That must have been what Jeremy had been hit with.  His head was pounding like a drum and he barely managed to stand up.

“Michael,” His voice was dazed and weak. “Run. Get out of here.”

“Yeah, get out of here you little bitch.” Kevin taunted. “I’ll take care of your boyfriend here.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Michael said desperately, looking torn about what to do.

“Well either way, he’s going to get it.”

The book came crashing down again throwing Jeremy off balance.

“Geometry book?” Jeremy coughed out, the sudden pain making it hard to think, much less form witty comebacks. “Creative.”

Kevin dropped the book. “If you prefer a more original option.” He raised his fists. Michael rushed forward and grabbed Jeremy, trying to haul him backwards but Kevin just stared at them unimpressively.

There was no question as to who would win this fight. 

“Michael, you need to get out of here.” Jeremy said in a heated whisper as he was helped to his feet.

“Fat chance.”

 _I’m in a bit of a dilemma here, Jeremy._ The Squip finally spoke up once more, it’s voice crueler sounding than usual. _So many options. I could have you stand here and watch Michael get beaten up._

Jeremy’s throat tightened.

_I could have you run away, leaving your boyfriend defenseless. My, my these options do not end well for Michael._

His fists clenched.

_But what I really think you need, is some sense beaten into you._

Jeremy’s body moved quicker than he thought was possible. It whipped around and with more than enough force, his fist was sent flying into the side of Michael’s face. He fell back on the pavement, out cold.

A cry of anguish was Jeremy’s only response to the Squip.

_Guess you broke your vow. Now don’t worry, that was actually in your best interests. No one wants to beat up an unconscious person._

Jeremy turned around and faced, Kevin, cursing the Squip for the next words that came out of his mouth.

“You wanna fight, fatass?”

Kevin growled and surged forward. He was big, burly-obviously worked out. Still Jeremy was fast, he might be able to dodge several punches, avoid some of the pain.

That is, he might have if every time Kevin swung, the Squip didn’t plant Jeremy’s feet firmly to the ground.

Unfortunately that’s exactly what happened.

 

Had Jeremy known a life before so much pain? He couldn’t think straight, couldn’t see straight. He was bleeding from several different places and he couldn’t even begin to imagine what his face would look like after this. Or his chest. Or his stomach.

Jeremy didn’t remember Kevin stopping. Just one moment he was there, slamming his foot into Jeremy’s ribs, and the next he was gone.

It took Jeremy a while to get up and the struggle was accompanied with many groans of pain.

He stared through the eye whose vision was still clear, partly amused but mostly worried at the still knocked out Michael sprawled comically on the sidewalk.

How was he going to get him home?

Jeremy waited to see if the Squip would say something, but he could barely hear his own self think. Maybe anything that clouded the mind blocked the Squip-for some time at least.

Michael didn’t live very far from school and still it was one of the biggest accomplishments of Jeremy’s life that he was able to half-carry, half-drag the deadweight body to the house. He was sure the neighbors would have an interesting story to tell.

It was a good thing Jeremy knew where Michael’s parents hid the spare key (inside a potted plant off to the side of the front steps) or else he would have passed out right there on the porch.

With the remaining strength that he couldn’t believe he summoned, Jeremy haphazardly placed Michael on the living room couch and promptly collapsed on the floor.

 

**April 26th**

It was still dark outside when Jeremy woke up. His first thought was that his dad would be angry about him disappearing for the night yet again. His second thought was that the bruises on his face might be his dad’s first concerns.

He hadn’t actually seen them yet, but he assumed there were bruises and that they looked _bad_ -His entire head felt puffy and thick, like it was stuffed with cotton balls.

Painfully he sat up. Everything hurt.

“Jeremy!” Michael exclaimed, much too loudly, sending sharp pains spiking through his head.

He noticed Jeremy’s wincing and immediately looked apologetic. “Oh shit,” He said in a mercifully quieter voice, “Sorry about that. How are you feeling?”

“Like I got beat up by a big piece of shit called Kevin.”

Michael smirked, “That’s oddly specific. Oh! Here-” He handed Jeremy an icepack. “You might want to apply that on the…” He gestured vaguely around the face area. “Parts.”

Jeremy groaned. “Is it that bad?”

Michael shrugged nonchalently. “No, not really.”

“You’re a horrible liar.”

“No, seriously.” He said, still horribly lying. Jeremy stared at him. “Okay fine. One side of your face kind of looks like a puffer fish. The other isn’t that bad.” He paused. “I didn’t look at, you know, your stomach injuries.”

Slowly Jeremy lifted his shirt up, examining his usually pale abdomen which was now a painted landscape of crimson reds, deep purples and navy blues.

“You’re going to be sore for a while.” Michael pointed out. “But it could have been worse.”

“Gee thanks, doc.” Jeremy looked over at him. “It could have been better if the Squip didn’t keep on holding me down.”

Michael’s face darkened so suddenly it was almost scary to watch. “I wish he was a person so I could punch him in his stupid computer face. Is he there now?”

“No-or at least I don’t think so. Doesn't sound like it.”  

“That reminds me.” Michael went into the kitchen and quickly returned, holding a red mountain dew. “Here you go.” He held it out to Jeremy, who stared at it.

“Shouldn’t I have water? I feel like if I drink that I’m going to puke.”

“No, this is the cure.”

“...Red mountain d-Actually, that makes sense. Green mountain dew activities it.”

“Red shuts it off.” Michael finished for him. “You were out so long I was able to run out and get it. But believe me, the information was hard to find. I had to pay for a subscription to this conspiracy theory website.” His expression changed to one of worry. “On second thought, I should not have given them my credit card number.”

It felt good to laugh but the light feeling didn’t last long. He had to take care of this.

Jeremy reached for the bottle. Only his hand didn’t move.

“Well? Are you going to take it?” Michael waved it back and forth in front of his face.

Jeremy’s eyes slowly gazed upwards, meeting Michael’s eyes. His mouth opened but nothing came out. The blood drained out of his face, making him look like a badly abused ghost.

Michael almost dropped the bottle. “Oh my god he’s back isn’t he?”

 

 _Don’t do this, Jeremy. You need me._ His voice was weaker than usual, as was his control.

_It’s over Squip. Just let me go._

“I’ll get you some alcohol, hold on.”

An anguished yell that wasn’t Jeremy’s ripped through him, stopping Michael in his tracks. _“Wait! Jeremy needs me, wants me. Or else his life will be as miserable as yours.”_

_Stop speaking for me._

“Jeremy wants you out and it’s about time too.” Michael turned away to get the booze.

“Did you know-” The Squip continued.

 _Stop._ Jeremy tried to command. in a tone that sounded pathetically weak. _Don’t do this, don’t tell him._

The Squip smirked through Jeremy. “ _What? Don’t want your pathetic little secret known?”_

Michael’s forehead furrowed. “What secret?”

 

_Don’t you dare do it._

 

 _“Jeremy’s in love with you, Mikey_. _Has been for a long while too. Sad isn’t it?”_

Michael froze, staring at him. “What?”

If Jeremy had been in control of his body, his face would currently by hiding in his hands. As it was, he could feel any command he had slipping from his fingertips, quite literally. Squip had the information, and as the spilling had shocked Jeremy as much as Michael, he was starting to have the power back too.

Michael disappeared from the doorway. Falling over twice, Squip finally got Jeremy to his feet. Step by step he moved towards the front door.

“You’re not leaving.” Jeremy’s body turned around, revealing Michael standing behind them with a bottle of open _Don Julio_ tequila in one hand, and the Mountain Dew in the other.

“ _Aren’t you underage?”_ The Squip asked mockingly, “ _I don’t think you should be handling that.”_

 _“_ Just let Jeremy go. This has gone on long enough.”

“ _Well you make a valid and reasonable point, so fine. I’ll leave._ ”

Michael visibly perked up, a brief hope flashing across his face. “Really?”

“ _No_.”

He grimaced and took a step forward. “Then we’ll make you leave.”

“ _Watch your distance. Don’t you remember how much stronger I am than you?_ ”

“You’re weak. Thanks to the beating _and_ Jeremy's willpower, you barely have any control left.” Michael pointed out.

“ _A weak Squip is still stronger than a Michael Mell.”_

* * *

Michael made a face, and took another cautious step, not wanting to prompt any action. Not yet, at least. It felt like a old western movie standoff. Only instead of a weapon, he had tequila.

He tried not to show it, but his thoughts were racing furiously. Every time Jeremy had managed to break the Squip’s control the reason had been...him. An emotional moment with Michael. Now he just had to cause one of those, preferably before he was beaten up by the Squip.

He think he knew a way.

Michael ran towards Jeremy and he didn’t hug him. He didn’t punch him, kick him, or try to shove the bottle of Mountain Dew down his throat. He did none of those things. Instead, Michael kissed him.

His glasses rammed into Jeremy’s face; Jeremy’s nose poked uncomfortably into Michael’s. It wasn’t very long, and it was by no means perfect, but that was okay. It didn’t have to be, and when their lips broke apart, Michael found himself wanting more.

The kiss did the job. Jeremy’s face quickly reddened and he stuttered out a “M-Michael?” And _then_ Michael shoved the bottle of Code Red: Mountain Dew down his throat.

“Goodbye, you piece of shit.”

 

**April 28th**

Jeremy had been brought to the hospital after blacking out, and boy did he have a lot of explaining to do to his dad.

That had been two days ago. As of right now, he was in bed, his body slowly healing while he was recovering for one more day before going back to school. Michael had also excused himself from going, opting instead to stay with Jeremy. He’d have a hell of a lot to catch up on, but he couldn’t find it in himself to regret it.

 It's not like they were spending time doing much of anything, though. Jeremy was frequently tired, often he would slip into a restless nap and more times than not wake up from it screaming. The doctors had prescribed some medication that seemed to be helping, however. 

At night, the tired feeling would slowly drain from his body, until the boy was on high-alert, anxiously searching the darkened room for something that he would never find. Whatever the doctors gave him didn't seem to be helping that, but he found a different remedy. Michael sleeping by the side of his bed in a wicker chair that always gave him back aches the next morning helped more than any drug did. Jeremy would watch his breathing, his heartbeat adjusting to a slower, calmer rate. Sometimes he would even fall back asleep. 

They played video games, talked about video games, or sat in companionable silence. It seemed to be the only options that they were sure wouldn't trigger anything that would hurt Jeremy's recovery. One of the things they definitely didn't do was address what happened in any possible or conceivable way.

Michael had resigned himself to that, not even sure where he would start if he was even going to bring it up. In the end, it had to be what what Jeremy was comfortable with, after all.   

So imagine his surprise when the boy, who just couldn't stand it anymore, the boy who wanted nothing more than to get their friendship back on track and dispel this unpleasant, lingering awkwardness, brought it up first.

If Michael had returned his feelings, Jeremy reasoned with himself. he would have said something. The very least Jeremy owed him now was to say something that could clear everything up.

He wasn't even sure if such words existed. 

 

They were sitting down on either sides of the couch in Jeremy’s living room, since he was essentially under house arrest. Some nature documentary on the TV in front of them was blaring its animal facts. Today's program was about predators, how any smart carnivore aims for the young, weak prey, easily taken down and easily devoured.

“Uh, Michael,” Jeremy started, once the disconcerting show paused for a commercial break. “I just want to let you know that the Squip said some things when he was-Y'know, in control, and-and he completely made them up.”

Michael grabbed the remote and muted the TV, looking surprised at the turn of conversation and maybe also...disappointed? Why would he be disappointed? Regardless, Jeremy had to continue. “You should take pretty much everything he said with a grain of salt.”

If it was possible, Michael’s face fell even more. “So when he said you loved me…” The question paused, as if it were on the edge of a cliff and needed an answer before taking the plunge.

Michael's forwardness shocked Jeremy, he hadn't expected him to directly mention it. That made it so much harder to look the boy in the eyes and deny his feelings.

“Yeah," He struggled to confirm, "That was-That was-”

The Squip was officially gone, totally eradicated from his system, so why did it feel like he still couldn’t talk?

“Real.” He breathed, after seconds of tense silence. Immediately he felt his face turning beet red in seconds. “I’m sorry, Michael but that was real.”

Michael's eyes widened impossibly large and his mouth fell open slightly. It only served to make Jeremy more panicked

“-But I can get over it, I swear! I don’t-I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“No!” Michael bursted out immediately. “Don’t-Don’t get over it.” He seemed to be having as much trouble as Jeremy was expressing his thoughts.

“What? Why not?”

“Why do you think, Jeremy?” Michael was choking on his words, his own face turning a very similar vermilion shade. Jeremy stared as Michael fought the urge to shrink inside his hoodie “I-Can I kiss you-again? I guess I didn’t really ask the first time but under the circumstances it might-I hope it was okay-.”

The barest hint of a hopeful smile appeared on Jeremy’s face and he couldn't help but interrupt Michael's rambling. “Really?”

“Really.” Michael confirmed, his eyes starting to sparkle in excitement; a tentative grin attempted to take over his face. 

“Yeah-I mean yes, you can, and it’s okay that you didn’t ask last time. I mean that situation was really-” Jeremy clamped his mouth shut and nodded vigorously.

He tried to close his eyes, he really did. Every romance movie he'd seen had couples closing their eyes while dramatically and effortlessly making out. Jeremy, though, never wanted to forget the sight of Michael hurriedly clamoring through the thick blanket and hopping over a couch cushion to him. The taller boy shuffled as close as to him as the sofa would allow.

He barely had time to realize their position before Michael's gaze, filled to the brim with happiness _,_ locked with his own. Jeremy realized in that moment that he would never  _ever_ get tired of looking into Michael Mell’s eyes. Before anything else could be processed in his head, Michael tenderly placed his hands on Jeremy’s cheeks and the space between their lips vanished.

 

Looking back on it, the kiss was far from perfect, and yet, right then to Jeremy it truly seemed to be. It was certainly better than the last one...For starters, a crazy computer wasn’t trying to control one of them. It also was less rushed, less frantic. More meaningful. It felt so much like both of them were trying as damned as they could to pour their hearts out for each other.

Jeremy was the first to pull back, even though it nearly killed him to do so, but the sudden rush of emotions flew straight to his head and he became woozy. He put an arm on Michael’s shoulder to steady himself.

“Woah, Jeremy? Are you okay? Was that okay? Did I go too fast-”

“Michael, Michael, you’re fine.” Jeremy couldn’t keep the soft smile off his face as he reassured him. “I just got dizzy for a second. I’m fine now.”

Resolutely Michael wrapped the blankets more tightly around Jeremy and started fluffing his pillows as the other boy stared in wonder.

“It’s time for you to rest now.” He said firmly, trying not to laugh when his brand new boyfriend (That did mean they were boyfriends now, right? It didn't seem too important at the moment; they would have plenty of time to figure it out later.) very maturely stuck his tongue out.

“Whatever you say, mom.” His voice was grumpy and yet without complaint, Jeremy laid his head against his chest. He turned the TV volume back on.

 " _-Are predators that mate for life. This is truly extraordinary considering the harsh livelihood of these animals hardly encourages-"_

Once they reached another commercial, Jeremy lazily groaned. “I don’t want to go to school tomorrow.”

Michael laughed. “Who does?”

“Yeah but I _really_ don’t want to go to school tomorrow. I’ll have to explain things to people and answer questions and _ugh_. That’s nice, keep on doing that.” He said as Michael started running his hand through Jeremy’s hair.

“Tomorrow’s going to be a good-no, a _great_ day.” Michael remarked.

Jeremy looked up at him, just a tad bit doubtful. Part of him did want to place his hope in the conviction of Michael's voice. “Really? After everything we went through, after everything that happened and after only a couple days to recover, it’s going to be a great day? What makes you say that?”

“Because,” He replied thoughtfully, “We defeated the Squip and we're both okay. Well, relatively okay. And everything about us was kind of unsure." His brow furrowed thinking of the events of the past couple of days. "I really had no idea what was going to happen. Sometimes I didn't want to bother showing up, either, with how things were." Michael's dismal tone lifted as he remembered the point he was trying to make.

"That's all over though. I'm here and you're here. You'll still be here tomorrow. And you know what?"

"What?" Jeremy asked in a breathless whisper. He felt like he had never been so ready to hear an answer before. 

"I’ll still be here tomorrow, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this??? I can end something on other than an ansgty and vague note??? How strange??  
> YAY I ACTUALLY FINISHED SOMETHING, im sorry its so trash i tried but i failed
> 
> Thank y'all sO MUCH for the kudos and comments, as a slut for validation i cannot even begin to tell you how much they are all appreciated  
> Ive recently sunk deeper into bmc chill hell so that's nice  
> I have another fic in the works but we'll see what happens, thank you for joining me on this short but (hopefully) emotional rollarcoaster ride.
> 
> (OH AND, i dont have a Tumblr whoops but my insta is @aesthetic.nowandthen  
> Drop me a line if ya feel like it, i'd love to talk!)

**Author's Note:**

> HEY Y'ALL  
> So a couple of things  
> Numero Uno- All the comments on my other first bmc fic were i n s a n e and so nice and *wipes away tear* beautiful, and every single one is literally the reason I keep on churning out these piles of trash (yes i have another in the works God save me)
> 
> Numero Dos-The ~second chapter~ (look at that I can make more than just angsty oneshots) is already completed and will be up *finger guns* once I reach enough comments (how many you ask? i don't know i'm a horrible person)
> 
> Numero Tres-I ended up re-reading this so many times that i'm beginning to loathe it so PoR fAVor if you see something that doesn't make sense or is wrong (is ingenuine a word google isn't helping) then tell me and I will try my best to fix it 
> 
> Numero Cuatro- Shoutout to GlobZrt for being da best beta and helping me power through and actually find a way to finish ur super ultimate af
> 
> Numero Cinco- this is much longer notes than I wanted I'm sorry, if y'all have any (preferably angsty because that's what i think im good at but really any) headcanons that you want written up, leave em in the comments and i will give em a whack i am using em too much forgive my sins  
> (None of this is comprehensible, you have my apologies)  
> All kudos, comments, and hits are deeply appreciated and loved so thank you very much
> 
> wAIT ONE MORE THING,  
> WHY IS JEREMY HEERE/KERMIT THE FROG AN ESTABLISHED FIC RELATIONSHIP TAG


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